Just get a racing harness.

David Williams (wil…@nokia.com) wrote:

: Greetings,

:       Given the amount of damage these airbags seem to be capable of (burns, broken jaws etc) I reckon there must be another way. Some ideas……

: a)  Forget the bag – just blow loads of air out of the steering wheel on impact.

:       ADVANTAGES:     No burns or broken bits,
:       DISADVANTAGES:  Embarassing for people with toupees (God bless ‘em).
:                       Might blow your specs off.
:                       Bogies would be blown up the nose making them impossible
:                       to pick out in a traffic queue later on.

: b)  Put rubber teat on the steering column

:       ADVANTAGES:     Great to suck on.
:                       Could double up as horn switch.
:       DISADVANTAGES:  Frequency of crashes would increase due to men sucking
:                       their steering wheels.
:                       The constant honking would be noisy.

: c)  Wear a special hat with a spring on the front.

:       ADVANTAGES:     Fashion statement.
:                       No horns going off.
:                       Could double up as the radio antenna.
:       DISADVANTAGES:  Fashion statement.
:                       The recoil might prove to be a bit hazardous.

: d)  Wear a special hat with a spring on the front and rear.

:       ADVANTAGES:     Superior status (cf. above)
:                       Double up as a directional radio antenna.
:       DISADVANTAGES:  Elitist
:                       If damping was too low then head might continue
:                       oscillating between the wheel and the head-rest
:                       for many minutes after impact.

: e)  On impact make the column move towards the drivers head so fast that on
:     impact, when the driver’s head starts to move forward, the wheel is already
:     there.  So, the velocity differential between the drivers head and the wheel
:     is virtually zero.

:       ADVANTAGES:     Good trick to show the neighbours.
:                       Theft deterant.  In park mode, if someone enters the
:                       car without authorisation the thief can be rendered
:                       unconcious by the imact of the wheel.
:       DISADVANTAGES:  Telescopic steering column required
:                       False triggering could prove fatal.

: f)  Put airbag on the front of the car

:       ADVANTAGES:     Prevents damage to the car during the accident.
:                       Would make great ‘farty’ sounds on impact adding
:                       a certain humor to every crash thereby quelling anger,
:       DISADVANTAGES:  Would cause vehicles to bounce off each other
:                       increasing the likelyhood of other cars being involved.
:                       People would crash their vehicles for a laugh just to  
:                       hear ‘farty’ noises.

: ETC ETC ETC

: Anymore……

: Dave.

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